Joon-Ho Lee and Minjae Lee
Joon-Ho Lee and Minjae Lee are father and son. Their relationship combines practical, technically skilled care with shared preferences for clarity and predictability. Joon-Ho’s protectiveness and his difficulty expressing pride directly have also shaped Minjae’s experience of autonomy and reassurance.
Overview
Minjae calls Joon-Ho “Appa.” Joon-Ho checks wheelchair mechanics, maintains assistive technology, anticipates equipment failures, coordinates transportation and records, and creates predictable systems around outings and medical care. Both father and son are autistic, and some of their preferences for clarity, routine, and lower sensory load overlap. Joon-Ho nevertheless learned Minjae’s individual communication and access needs through observation rather than assuming that a shared diagnosis made their experiences identical. His protective and disciplinary instincts can conflict with Minjae’s autonomy, especially when pain, sensory distress, puberty, or illness complicates the meaning of his behavior.
Origins
Minjae was born on October 1, 2015, to Joon-Ho and Nari Lee. From birth, his cerebral palsy was evident, and subsequent diagnoses of autism, epilepsy, POTS, and gastroparesis followed. He also developed severe chronic fatigue without a separate ME/CFS diagnosis.
For Joon-Ho, fatherhood to a disabled son with complex medical needs required developing new skills while also drawing on his engineering background and systematic thinking. His own experience of autism gave him a personal reference point for some sensory and routine needs, but Minjae’s particular presentation and communication remained his own.
From Minjae’s earliest years, Joon-Ho became the family’s technical specialist. He researched interventions, maintained mobility equipment and assistive technology, coordinated appointments and therapies, and documented symptoms and treatment responses. Those tasks gave him a way to express care that came more readily than verbal declarations.
Dynamics and Communication
Their connection relies partly on shared neurodivergent understanding and practical care. Joon-Ho’s checks of wheelchair mechanics, advance planning for equipment and outings, and environmental modifications convey attention to Minjae’s needs without requiring extensive conversation.
Their shared neurotype gives Joon-Ho some experiential context for sensory overwhelm, direct communication, and the value of routine. He recognizes patterns through accumulated knowledge of Minjae and checks his assumptions when the same environment affects them differently. Predictability benefits them both, but it does not eliminate the need for Minjae’s own answer.
Joon-Ho struggled to express emotion verbally. For years, he loved Minjae and took pride in him without stating that pride directly. The silence was not intended to hurt his son, but it left Minjae unsure whether his father was proud of him or merely tolerated him.
Joon-Ho’s parenting emphasizes discipline, respect, and proper behavior, values present in his Korean-Chinese upbringing. These expectations sometimes conflict with Minjae’s medical and developmental needs, particularly after atypical puberty brought unpredictable mood changes. Joon-Ho continued learning to distinguish behavior that required a boundary from symptoms that required accommodation.
His response also carries the effects of his own strict upbringing and need for predictable rules. He had learned to suppress departures from expected conduct. When Minjae’s mood changed suddenly, fear for his son combined with the disruption of that internal order and could emerge as Joon-Ho’s own sharp anger. Guilt followed when he recognized that Minjae was not at fault. His understanding of his son’s symptoms did not automatically prevent that reaction, and he did not always recognize his own sensory and processing strain within it.
Cultural and Family Context
Joon-Ho and Minjae shared a Chaoxianzu household in which Korean and Mandarin, family names, food, and ordinary routines sustained their Korean-Chinese identity. Minjae’s Chinese-character name was 李敏宰. After the move to Baltimore, Joon-Ho continued using both languages with his son and preserved familiar structures while the family adapted to American medical and educational systems.
Korean at home and Mandarin in wider society had also shaped Joon-Ho’s childhood in Tianjin. He regarded keeping the family’s language, names, and routines as active work across generations, particularly after relocation removed their familiar neighborhood and extended-family network. He continued speaking Korean to Minjae even when illness or processing difficulty limited his son’s verbal response.
Joon-Ho often expressed care through practical action. He maintained Minjae’s wheelchair and other equipment, organized transportation and records, researched treatment, and created predictable systems around daily needs. His own autism and preference for clarity helped him recognize some of Minjae’s sensory and communication needs from the inside, although Minjae’s cerebral palsy, epilepsy, POTS, and other conditions still required knowledge Joon-Ho had to learn.
Checking the wheelchair’s tilt mechanism or recalibrating positioning equipment recalled the way Joon-Ho’s own father had checked their Tianjin apartment’s security and heat. For Joon-Ho, dependable infrastructure was an inherited expression of family responsibility as well as an engineering task. His reserve and technical focus had once been described as those of “the serious one” or “the engineer type,” and even as “very Korean,” rather than recognized as part of his undiagnosed autism. That history helped him understand why familiar routines mattered to Minjae while reminding him that their needs could differ.
Joon-Ho’s inherited understanding of husbandhood and fatherhood placed protection, provision, and responsibility for consequences on the man of the household. That model had guided his marriage without making Nari subordinate, but it became harder for him to apply when Minjae entered adulthood. Joon-Ho recognized his son’s love for Minh and his right to choose her. He still struggled to reconcile Minjae’s wish to become a husband and father with the days when illness left him unable to get out of bed, manage his own care, or protect another person from an emergency.
His concern focused on whether the couple could sustain medical care, income, household work, pregnancy, infant care, and periods when both partners had limited capacity. He did not doubt that Minjae loved Minh enough. He feared that love could not remove the labor or risk and that Minh might be left carrying more than either young adult understood. Because Joon-Ho experienced a preventable failure of safety or provision as his own responsibility, he also feared that any crisis in their marriage would return to him as the father who should have anticipated it.
Minjae experienced those questions differently. Joon-Ho had defended him against people who treated disability as proof that he could not understand adult relationships, yet his father’s warnings about marriage and parenthood could sound like the same judgment from inside the family. The conflict reached Minjae’s fear that needing care made him less of a man and his insistence that his body did not disqualify him from marriage, sexuality, or the possibility of a child. Joon-Ho had to learn that Minjae could be Minh’s husband without becoming the sole provider or permanent protector Joon-Ho had been taught a husband should be.
Joon-Ho’s unresolved grief about the son and adulthood he had once imagined could be understood through ‘’han’‘, sorrow carried without allowing it to become the whole account of Minjae’s life. His pragmatic response to needs he could not remove was, “these are the parameters, how do we optimize?” He worked to build the most supportive structure he could while remaining proud of the life and music Minjae was making.
At Rome, “You make me proud. Always.” was unusual because Joon-Ho had rarely put that pride into direct words. He later wept privately after speaking it. The sentence mattered through the history of this particular father and son, including Joon-Ho’s learned restraint, not as a claim that Korean fathers were incapable of verbal affection.
Shared History and Milestones
Early Childhood: Diagnosis and Treatment
Minjae’s early years involved frequent medical appointments, therapy, equipment adjustments, and diagnostic evaluations as his conditions became apparent. Joon-Ho researched conditions and treatments, coordinated with specialists, and kept detailed records of symptoms and medication responses.
Joon-Ho learned to troubleshoot and maintain Minjae’s assistive technology and mobility equipment. The practical work protected his son’s access and gave him a way to offer support when he could not easily express emotion aloud.
Musical Development
As Minjae’s musical talent emerged, Joon-Ho supported his piano studies through the Tianjin Juilliard Pre-College Program and beyond. He arranged transportation to lessons, managed equipment needs, and scheduled around medical appointments. Nari provided more of the emotional support around performances and practice.
Joon-Ho took deep pride in Minjae’s music, although he struggled to say so. He was moved by what his son created while managing cerebral palsy, autism, and chronic illness, and his practical support did not fully communicate that feeling to Minjae.
Rome International Piano Competition (2032)
At the Rome competition, held November 14–20, 2032, seventeen-year-old Minjae performed while Joon-Ho sat with his hands gripping his knees. He was proud of his son and privately felt that the performance itself was enough, regardless of the venue or the judges’ approval.
Minjae played for fifteen minutes and then fainted backstage. The performance’s physical cost turned an achievement into another period of medical monitoring and recovery for the family.
Joon-Ho compared that cost with the other young musicians he had seen leaving the conservatory to eat, laugh, and stay out in the city. Even joy could overwhelm Minjae. Joon-Ho felt grief close to rage at that inequality, directed at the conditions his son faced rather than at Minjae. He suppressed the reaction so Minjae would not wake to anger on his face. He also grieved the boy and adulthood he had once imagined for his son while remaining proud of the brilliant, stubborn, beautiful man Minjae was becoming.
When Minjae regained consciousness, Joon-Ho told him, “You make me proud. Always.” He had not put that pride so directly into words before. Minjae sobbed, and Joon-Ho kept a hand on his arm through the emotion and a second faint. His direct reassurance did not erase his grief and anger about the barriers and physical costs Minjae faced.
Café Incident in Rome (2032)
When a café served Minjae the wrong order, he banged his tray and made frustrated growling-hum sounds. Joon-Ho first wondered, Is this sensory overload? Is he about to crash? Other customers were looking at them, and his concern about conduct in a public place overtook his initial medical concern. He told his son quietly but firmly, “Be good, Minjae.”
Minjae turned toward him sharply, his eyes alert and his mouth twisting. He struck the tray harder and made a sound closer to a growl than a hum. The sound unsettled Joon-Ho; he saw neither the glazed appearance of overload nor a seizure cue, but anger. A sudden flush in Minjae’s cheeks suggested that the intensity might have surprised Minjae too.
The exchange exposed Joon-Ho’s difficulty interpreting Minjae’s atypical puberty and its unpredictable mood changes alongside sensory distress and illness. Increased seizures and volatile emotions in the following weeks further complicated his effort to distinguish symptoms, adolescent anger, and behavior that called for a boundary.
Meeting Jacob Keller in Rome (2032)
At the competition, Joon-Ho noticed Jacob Keller, a pale young judge who seldom smiled but looked at Minjae with unusual kindness. Jacob did not speak down to Minjae or change his manner when Minjae’s cognitive delays became apparent. During a photo opportunity, Jacob recognized an absence seizure and told the photographer, “Shut up. Wait one second.” He waited without rushing Minjae and said softly, “There you are,” when the seizure ended.
Jacob’s matter-of-fact respect was unexpected. Seeing a pianist and judge at his level recognize Minjae’s talent without condescension gave Joon-Ho a concrete reason to trust him.
Health Crisis After Rome
After returning to Tianjin, Minjae slept through most of the first weekend, waking mainly for medication. He had several seizures in his sleep and barely opened his eyes. By the third day, Joon-Ho and Nari were considering hospitalization. Seizure frequency remained higher for weeks, while atypical puberty added further mood and health changes.
The severity and duration of the crisis made the limits of Minjae’s available care in Tianjin more urgent for Joon-Ho and contributed to the family’s decision to relocate internationally.
Relocation to Baltimore (Early 2034)
Joon-Ho coordinated immigration paperwork, housing, equipment transport, and the establishment of new medical care during a lengthy approvals and preparation process in late 2033. The family moved from Tianjin to Baltimore in early 2034. The decision prioritized Minjae’s health despite the loss of familiar people, places, and routines, and showed Joon-Ho’s commitment in practical form.
Minjae’s Engagement (December 27, 2034)
Minjae proposed to Minh on December 27, 2034, later in the year of the Baltimore move. Joon-Ho recognized the decision as his son’s, welcomed Minh’s place in the family, and saw Minjae’s capacity to choose and sustain a loving partnership despite other people’s assumptions about his cognitive delays. Friends including Jacob Keller joined the celebration, giving the family a moment of joy without an accompanying medical crisis.
Public vs. Private Life
In medical and musical settings, Joon-Ho accompanies Minjae to appointments, coordinates with specialists, manages equipment, and provides transportation to lessons and performances. His practiced organization draws on years of family experience and engineering work.
In public, Joon-Ho’s concern about proper conduct and maintaining face can conflict with Minjae’s medical and developmental needs. The Rome café incident showed his disciplinary instinct colliding with Minjae’s genuine frustration and emerging autonomy.
At home, their relationship includes morning routines, help with positioning and equipment, wheelchair and device maintenance, and periods of quiet parallel activity. Both value clarity and predictability. Joon-Ho also fears that others could exploit his trusting son; his protection can become controlling when he fails to distinguish safety from autonomy.
Emotional Experience
Joon-Ho expresses love for Minjae most readily through preparation, equipment work, research, and his presence. His pride in Minjae’s music long preceded his direct praise. He also fears exploitation, uncertain long-term support, seizures he cannot prevent, and medical systems that underestimate his son.
Those feelings produce useful planning but can also lead to overprotection. In Rome, Joon-Ho supported the performance, confronted its physical cost, and mishandled Minjae’s anger at the café. Minjae’s sobbing response to his father’s direct praise showed that practical care had not made words unnecessary.
Health and Access
Disability and chronic illness shape their daily routines, but their relationship also includes music, conflict, affection, and ordinary family life. Joon-Ho’s caregiving includes equipment maintenance, medical coordination, and advocacy for access.
Joon-Ho uses his engineering knowledge to troubleshoot wheelchair problems, anticipate equipment failures, coordinate repairs and replacements, and modify devices to meet Minjae’s needs. Working equipment helps Minjae retain access and make choices about his own movement and activities.
His own autism gives him personal experience with some sensory and routine needs. That experience helps him recognize patterns, but it does not grant automatic access to Minjae’s internal state; he still relies on Minjae’s communication, observation, and the family’s accumulated knowledge.
Minjae’s cerebral palsy, epilepsy, POTS, gastroparesis, and other health needs required research, observation, and coordination with medical professionals beyond Joon-Ho’s personal experience. He read medical literature, consulted specialists, and documented patterns with systematic precision.
Health access drove the family’s international relocation. Minjae’s post-Rome crisis exposed the limits of his care in Tianjin, and Joon-Ho arranged the move while grieving the loss of familiar surroundings and extended-family support.
Joon-Ho still has to distinguish seizure warnings, sensory overload, pain, adolescent boundary testing, and Minjae’s legitimate disagreement. His learned emphasis on discipline can lead him to correct behavior before he understands whether accommodation or a different response is needed.
Wedding and Documentary
Joon-Ho helped Minjae prepare for his early-fall-2036 wedding and supported him through the day’s access and medical needs. After wedding photographs drew public attention, Resonance Films approached the family about the documentary ‘’I Am Still Me’‘, filmed during 2036–2037. Joon-Ho initially refused because he feared exploitation. Minseo insisted that they ask Minjae, and Joon-Ho accepted his decision to participate on the condition that the film show his music as well as his illness.
The first filming day overwhelmed Joon-Ho. Strangers, equipment, noise, and concern for Minjae’s boundaries made his replies curt and his posture rigid. When a cameraman approached Minjae’s chair too closely, Joon-Ho told him to back up and required permission before touch. His “Too much” prompted Minseo to help the crew give Minjae more space. As the crew focused on Minjae’s piano playing, Joon-Ho said, “See? He’s good. He’s so good.” He later welcomed Julian warmly at the March 20, 2037 premiere, showing that his initial fear had not remained opposition to the completed film.
Continuing Relationship
Joon-Ho remained responsible for much of the equipment, logistics, documentation, and access infrastructure around Minjae’s life after the family moved to Baltimore. The work was one of his clearest forms of care, but it did not replace the need to listen when Minjae disagreed or made an adult choice.
The direct statement of pride in Rome remained important between them. The later engagement, marriage, and documentary extended the same negotiation: Joon-Ho protected his son, Minjae asserted his own decisions, and both made more room for care and autonomy.